Domination
by Palaemona
Summary: Ever so bored, the Golden Trio decide to break out a Board Game. Perhaps Risk was to much of a risk in the first place... Bringing forth attempted murders, corruption and maniacs-Perhaps Hogwarts was better off without this game.
1. Domination

**Domination **

_Like a BAMF_

…

_Oh foul language that is bestowed within this game of mutual hatred and domination. _

…

_God save us all. _

…

"Now what?" Ron wondered, tossing Butterbeer caps in the bucket.

Hermione's eyes lifted from the heavy text. "We study for next year's exams?"

"You're kidding me, right?" Ron snorted. "We just finished them all for this year!"

"Never hurts to be ahead, Ronald." Her tone had crossed to frigid, a direct warning lacing her words. Harry quickly mouthed over her shoulder '_Shut Up'_. "You'll find it cuts down time reviewing past notes and sorting them out when it comes down to it."

"Interesting, Hermione." Harry interjected before Ron could announce something insulting. "Don't you have any of those games in your dorm?"

"What games?" Ron questioned, tossing another in the bucket. Harry replied in kind, hurling one from where he perched himself on the back of the couch. "Muggle games?"

"Yes, Ron. What else would I have?"

"I dunno. Something… Muggely." He shrugged helplessly.

A brief glare and a simple response had Hermione replying with, "You are utterly hopeless, Ron."

Harry sighed, tossing a Butterbeer cap at Ron's forehead. "The game guys. The game."

"I only have Risk with me this year, Harry." Hermione offered. "I never really play them much through the year, so I only bother with one."

Harry's face brightened. "Yeah, it could work. We got three people."

"Risk? Is that some other wonky version of Truth-And-Dare?" Ron asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nah. Far too complicated for Ron to understand." Hermione's lips quirked into a smile, stifling a laugh.

"Oi! Sitting right here!"

"Yeah. Too many rules and countries and territories. Be a shame to confuse his fragile mind." Harry agreed, nodding his head. "Ever so delicate, that one is."

Leaping to his feet, the boy jumped to his feet. "I can handle it!"

"You said that about Go Fish." Harry sighed, fighting back a laugh.

"Eh. It was boring anyways until Dean turned it to Strip Fish." Ron shrugged.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "I thought that was Seamus?"

"He was passed out drunk." Ron reminded.

"That wasn't Neville?" Harry questioned.

"Nah, he locked himself in the loo."

"Oh yeah. Now I remember." A wide grin broke his face.

"What on Earth do you boys do in your dorm?" Hermione cried out, eye twitching.

"Stuff." Ron shrugged.

"What do you do in your dorm?" Harry leaned forward, looking at the blushing girl.

"… Shut up…"

Harry smirked. "Exactly."

"Oh my gosh. He smirked. Hermione, he smirked. The world is going to end and we're all going to die," Ron flew backwards, raising his hands up as if to ward evil off.

"Risk, Harry?" Hermione offered quickly.

"Sounds good right now."

"FIENDS! DEATH IS UPON US!"

…

_'God created war so that Americans would learn geography'._

…

"So what. You rolls some magic dies, and take over the world?" Ron asked, glaring at the offensive dice.

"They're not magic. Just regular old dice." Hermione explained sighing. It had taken well over half an hour to explain the rules to the Pureblood.

"They're old?"

"Shut up and place your men on the board." Harry interrupted before the bookworm could speak a word.

"Brazil? Where's Brazil?"

Hermione sighed. "South America, Ron. Don't they teach basic geography to you damn Wizards?"

"Nah. The extra learning would ruin our good looks and charms."

"What looks?" Harry asked.

"What charms?"

"Shut up."

"Hermione, place these two on Russia for me?" Harry asked, extending the green pieces.

Ron shook his head slowly. "Slytherin colors? Really Harry? I expected better than that."

"Put this on Greenland?" Hermione questioned Ron.

"Where?"

"Floating mass of rock in the middle of the ocean."

"Oh. There it is."

"That's Australia." Harry guided his hand to the other side.

"Damn. Why is there no Britain?"

Hermione pointed out with a dramatic sigh. "Right there."

"It's so small!" He exclaimed, bending over to 'properly inspect' the Nation.

"That's what Dean said to you in Strip Fish." Harry smirked.

Flushing, Ron snapped, "We swore never to bring up that again."

"You and Dean swore. I said nothing."

"Go to hell, Harry. Go to hell."

"Roll the damn dice, Harry." Hermione flung them at the seeker.

"Six!"

"Damn it. One." Ron swore.

"Take that and suck on it."

"_I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."_

"Sac up, my brother." Ron cheered, throwing the dice at Harry.

"Oh Merlin," Hermione sighed, shaking her head.

"I want Peru." Harry declared, shaking the dice within his hands. "I'm going to slaughter any that stand in my way."

"Maniac," Ron declared, pointing a finger at the twitching green eyed boy. "You bloody violent psychopath."

Chucking the colored dice at the red haired, Harry pouted. "Make him stop, Hermione. He is insulting my insanity."

Ron glowered pathetically at his landlocked territory."S'not my fault you're a corrupt monster trying to succeed in world domination." He rolled the dice with tender care and began to plead, "Six-six-six-six."

Interjecting, Hermione informed, "That's a two, Ron."

"No! Arseholes!"

"Barmpots, the lot of you."

"Ha! Six!" Harry cheered, happily shoving the offending red pieces free from Peru.

Ron pouted. "Bugger. This isn't fair."

"You have such a lovely mouth when you lose." Hermione sighed. "Come on Harry. What else are you going to murder?"

Harry shrugged. "Eh. I get my card."

"Crazy psycho." Ron glared, jerking a card over to Harry.

"Thank you, Ronnie!"

"Don't ever call me Ronnie, you foul son-of-a-bitc-"

"_War is what happens when language fails."_

"You all hate me, don't you?" Ron whined, glowering over his two cards.

Hermione smirked as she studied the mass continent of North America. "Oh, Harry. He discovered our secret."

Harry allowed a brief Cheshire grin to appear on his face. "Heaven forbid. I suppose he also found out he was really adopted, unwanted and unloved?"

"What?"

"Oh you are far too easy, Ron." Hermione giggled, shaking the dice over China. "Shake it or lose it, Ron."

"Isn't that what Dean said?" Harry asked, leaning back and watching the dice rolls.

"Stop talking, you bloody wanker!"

"Seriously. What on Earth is it that you do in your dorm?"

"Deface beloved Children stories, scar Neville for life and get drunk off Butterbeer." Harry shrugged. "Not much really."

Ron added, "We also take a look at Seamus collection."

"Collection?" Hermione winced. "What collection?"

There was an awkward silence.

"I'm taking Russia back. Prepare to die." Harry vowed, snatching the dice free from Hermione's grip.

"Someone needs to end Harry. He's another… Hitler."

"Who's Hitler? Weird name." Ron asked, flinging out a quick roll.

"You can barely handle the concept of countries other than Britain. Like hell I'm giving you a Muggle History lesson." Hermione swore, gulping back a drink of Butterbeer. "And for Merlin's sake! Stop land locking yourself, Ron."

"Hitler a bad guy?"

"Think Voldermort. And World Domination. And over seven million people murdered." Harry answered, ignoring the flinch.

"Do you have to say his name every bloody time?"

"Does it piss you off?" Harry replied, moving his pieces to Japan.

"Yes."

"Good."

"_It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse."_

"Well Ron. You're bloodied screwed off this board." Hermione announced, flinging the last red piece off the board.

"Shut up. Go die in a pit of misery and hell."

"Ron, you suck at board games." Harry shrugged, accepting the dice.

Ron shouted, "This was three bloody hours!"

"Eh. Chess with you takes five hours when you play it stripper style." Harry passed the colored dice to Hermione. "I'll take Britain. From whatever territory it is that has twenty pieces on it."

"Jesus Christ, you hell hound." Hermione chucked a Butterbeer cork at his face.

"What is with us throwing these things? Give 'em to Luna for heaven's sake." Harry muttered, rolling a four, five and three.

"Do you have a crush on Luna?" Hermione teased, oblivious to his blush. "You're always giving her those things. Anyways, that's one six. Defender against the Bastard-Invader."

"Who makes these rules?" Ron questioned, reading through the pamphlet. "It's midget writing."

"Hey, imagine if Slytherins ever started playing this game." Harry grinned. "It'd be just political parties and stabbing one another in the dam-PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN RON!"

"_If you win, you need not have to explain...If you lose, you should not be there to explain!"_

"Like a freaking boss." Harry announced.

"You run a corrupt world, you bastard." Ron glowered from where he sat.

"Not my fault you tried to stab me in the back! You arsehole!" Harry retorted. "I'm your best mate!"

Ron's eyes widened. "This is more than mates and frivolous things. This is the world!"

"We've created a monster." Hermione gazed up to the ceiling, admiring the cracks and dried up chewing gum.

"Oh I pity the world." Harry grimaced. "Wait. Did he just say frivolous?"

"Oh I do believe he did, Harry. He's broken!"

"Oh shove it!" Ron glared.

"Speaking of which, where on Earth did you get that knife from?" Hermione questioned, looking at the blade.

"Gryffindor Table."

"You are joking me, right?" Hermione raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Why?"

"Malfoy was eyeing me up." Ron tried to snatch the knife back.

"That was because you punched him in the face, and dared him to go all Muggle on your arse, Ron." Harry swore.

"So?"

"And said he was a bloody sexy Ferret. It was a shame he wasn't always a ferret. Twisting his way down Crabbe's trousers like that." Hermione continued.

"He wasn't a bad looker all… miserable like that."

"You are utterly hopeless." Hermione threw her hands up in the air, as if condemning his soul to hell.

"I try."

"_They're in love. Fuck the war." _

"Damn, how many hours has it been?" Ron groaned from where he had splayed himself upside down on the couch. "Someone kill somebody quick."

"Five hours, Ron. Maybe next time we'll stick with Strip Fish." Harry suggested.

"Oh God no."

"Just an offer, Hermione."

"Anyways Ron. Last territory."

"Alright. First, before I remove your only territory, I would ever much enjoy cashing these BAMFS in." Harry decided, thrusting the twenty cards over.

"BAMFS? What are BAMFS anyways?" Hermione asked, looking them over.

Harry flipped his hand. "You have such lovely virgin ears, Hermione. Don't make me ruin them."

"Of course."

"Blimey. How many cards you got stashed away there?" Ron stared at the small stockpile of cards.

"Enough, I suppose. Kinda forgot about them all. Anyways, that's like what? A million green for me?"

"Oh hell no." Hermione swore, thrusting a small army over to Harry. "That's supposed to be over a hundred, but with all the ones that were thrown across the room… leaves you with about seventy."

"It shall do. Japan, prepare to die."

"_If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war." _

"HOW THE HELL DID I DIE?" Harry screeched, looking at his slaughtered army. "HOW THE HELL, HERMIONE!"

"Eh. Lucky roll."

"YOU CHEATED!"

"Of course not. That would be poor conduct and illegal tampering with the pieces."

"Where is that knife?"

"You know, this makes up for me dying." Ron decided, leaning back.

"Harry, chill. Just a game that you crashed and burned it. Pathetically."

"THIS IS NOT OVER!"

"Actually, it's been six hours. I think we're done."

"WE ARE NOT DONE UNTIL I SAY SO!"

"And why is that, Boy-Who-Lived-To-Lose-At-Risk?"

"Because I said so." Harry paused. "And I am a BAMF."

"No, Harry. You are a sore loser."

"Shut up."

**And this is essentially how pathetic I am. **

**All crack, really. Random things thrown in, with no set year or age. A lot of strip references, because for God's sake. Who doesn't love Strip Fish? Anyways, I think this is my first happy FanFic. All of my other ones end up in horrid ending with everyone dying somehow. **

**Anyways, Please review to this madness. I am begging you. Do not let the last three hours be an eternal waste to my mere existence. **

**Enjoy life, never play this damn game because all that happens is misery, hate and war. (Also, never turn it into Strip Risk. Bad idea.)**


	2. Resistance

**Resistance**

_May God Save Us All_

…

_Betrayals are found within the board, and hell rising from each and every death like a BAMF. _

…

_It's always the quiet ones who win. _

"So what? We just take over the world now?" Dean questioned, eyeing the map.

"You're Muggle born, Dean. How the hell do you not understand this game?" Harry wondered, leaning back against the red pillows. He vaguely worried if Ron had slipped another knife off the table again.

The boy shrugged. "Eh. I don't know where either of you two got it from anyways. I just don't recognize the bloody game."

"Hermione's. We just nicked it off her." Ron grimaced. "Wasn't pretty."

Seamus allowed a long whistle. "Must be pretty desperate for a game."

"With exams done, we got nothing this week to do. It's so…" Ron trailed off, throwing his hands up.

"Boring." Harry finished, chucking cards at each of the boys. "Take two men of your colours, and set 'em up on the countries you got. Then you use add your extra men to wherever the hell you want."

Dean placed two yellow men on Peru. "You know, this game has the unique prospects of transforming it into something better. I'm thinking 'Strip Risk'."

Neville paled, eyes darting to the bathroom's doors. "Please no."

"I would say yes, for the sole purpose of destroying Neville's sanity. But seeing as how this is a bloody six hour game, I have to say no." Harry dismissed the idea, waving his hand.

Ron nodded strongly. "I agree. You suck when it comes to strip games."

"You know, I could say a lot to that statement, Ron." Dean grinned, watching as Neville hesitantly placed three pink men over on Alberta, next to the black one's Seamus had already placed.

"I will curse you, if you dare." Ron threatened, taking out his wand.

Dean sighed. "Put your wand away, Ron."

"Oh shut up," Ron threw a pillow at Dean whom merely ducked.

"Hey! Are we ready to play yet?" Seamus interrupted quickly. "Because Harry is going to kill you both if you don't shut the hell up, and I'm going to watch."

"I'm your best mate!" Ron cried out, glaring at Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes. "You tried to stab me last time we played. You got no ground to stand on."

"Stab you?" Neville's eyes widened to the size of tea cups.

"I killed him out of Europe and he ran out of countries. He tried to get revenge by stabbing me in the back. We had to stun him in the end." Harry explained, returning Ron's glare. "Bloody traitor."

Ron rolled his eyes. "You were the one who killed me, you arsehole!"

Harry's eyes narrowed. "I'll kill you again if you don't set up your bloody men."

"That's a threat! You threatened to kill me!" Ron paled under the weight of the angry stare the Boy-Who-Lived was bestowing him.

"You're damn right it's a bloody threat." Harry swore, chucking a dice at Ron's forehead. "Now get your bloody men out of Russia."

…

"So. Harry likes Russia, I'm assuming?" Neville grimaced at the killed red men of Ron's. Harry managed to wipe out five countries of Russia and surrounding areas.

"Bloody maniac. His first target is always getting Russia, and be damned if anyone gets it before he does."

"Maniac?" Neville whimpered, looking fearfully at the coloured dice in his hands.

"Homicidal maniac, Mate." Ron corrected, "He's damn well corrupt."

"That 'homicidal maniac' is sitting right here, Ron." Harry glared, looking down at his cards.

"I gotta say, insulting the poor nut job right in front of him." Dean chuckled, rolling his white dice. "What the hell is with all of this pink?"

"I'm sorry?" Neville spoke, removing his three men off of Brazil.

"Stop apologizing, for Merlin's sake," Seamus groaned. "You're a bloody Gryffindor. Gotta have a bit of backbone there, mate."

Neville paused before speaking again. "… Sorry…"

"Enough of this talk. Talking is for the birds. We are men, fighting for the world." Harry grimaced, throwing a fist in the air.

Seamus pumped a fist in the air as well. "Bloody well damn straight."

"Pass a Butterbeer, will you?" Dean asked Ron, eying the board. "How has Neville managed three counties?"

"We've all been fighting for the big countries. Some bloody green eyed git won't give up Asia." Ron adjusted his red men residing upon Greenland.

"S'not my fault you can't roll the dice properly," Harry muttered, "Now roll, Neville. And die easily."

"Sorry?"

"Oh damn it," Seamus swore, chucking the Butterbeer cap across the room, landing neatly in the bucket.

…

"So. He has both South America and Asia." Dean whistled. "In the grand total of two hours."

"The essence of Seamus clear from the board." Ron added. "And Seamus drank to his 'death' before collapsing." The ginger prodded the sleeping Irish boy, surrounded by empty Butterbeer bottles.

Dean continued the statement with ease. "He has also traumatized Neville in a matter of minutes."

"He can also hear every word you are saying." Harry interrupted, glaring. His eye twitched.

Ron swore. "We're all dead. We have no chance. He'll slaughter us in our sleep, and feed out mangled bodies to the Snakes!"

Harry blinked. "Calm down. I just want to kill your men and win this game."

"He admitted it!" Ron bellowed, jumping to his feet. "He wants to kill me!"

"I also want to kill Dean and Neville to, but you don't see them flipping out. Do you?" Harry frowned.

"Neville doesn't count. You already broke him." Dean grimaced, looking at the boy. His eyes had widened, and hands began trembling.

"You monster!" Ron cried, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Eying the colored dice in Dean's hand, Harry mused, "If I did kill Ron, do you think I could have the potential of getting away with it?"

Shrugging, Dean replied, "Eh. Depends mate. First you gotta lay out the setting. The backup plan. You got to get the lure, the cover up. The sexy nurse waiting for you behind the scene."

"I'm the Boy-Who-Lived. Shouldn't that be enough?" Harry grimaced, removing one Green man from Alberta.

"Nah. To obvious. You need to hire someone to kill him for you. And thus, no one can say you went dark and evil."

"WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT KILLING ME?" Ron screeched, outraged. Betrayal was etched across his face.

"Like hiring you?" Harry raised an eyebrow, tossing two offending yellow men off of a neighboring country. He had lost track of what it was he was fighting for, other than the mere fact that it wasn't his, and he wanted it.

"Depends how well you pay, mate."

…

"I'm glad my life means so much to you, Harry." Ron pouted from where he sat cross legged. His small European Nation was crumbling away, red pieces strewn across the room.

"You know, after you attempted stabbing me in the back the first time around, I'm not answering that."

Ron swore as he rolled a one. "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Did Snape, when he discovered you stole Hogwarts property?" Harry questioned. "And gave you a month of detention for next year?"

"Pretty impressive. I don't think the Twins ever managed doing that." Dean approved, sticking his foot out to kick the sleeping Irish boy.

"Shut up. I'm hoping he forgets about that."

"He didn't forget about the incident with Malfoy. I wouldn't hold your breath on that one." Harry replied, rolling a six. "You got three men left, Ron. Just give up."

"Never!"

Harry sighed. Once he killed the prat, he'd never hear the end of it. "Then die in bloody glory, you idiot."

"I will. Now leave me in peace!" Ron cried, rolling a dice across the floor.

"That's a two. This is a four." Harry smirked.

"Oh God. Not the smirk." Dean muttered, flinging the defeated red man away. "You're just about dead. Any last words?"

"He's coming after you next, Dean. He's a fiend!"

"Oh give it up," Harry grimaced, wiping out the last of the red. "Just you and me, Dean. And Neville."

"Sorry!" Neville cried out.

…

"I'll be damned, but Ron was right. You are a bloody homicidal maniac." Dean glared, shoving his cards to Harry.

He shrugged, passing yellow men over. "That's ten good men, Dean. I'll kill 'em in the end."

"You are so pleasant. What a cheery bundle of joy you are." Ron spoke up from where he play, tossing Dean's football from hand to hand.

"One of my best features," Harry rolled his green eyes, watching as Dean placed them on Australia. "Hurry up. You have three territories, roughly twenty men standing soon to be dead."

"Go… away!"

"Eh. Too much amusement watching you suffer at the moment."

"Son of a bitc-"

….

"You killed me." Dean said blankly, looking at Harry horrified.

"Yep."

"You killed me," He repeated, grasping hold of his dead men.

"Yeppers. I enjoyed it to."

"I cannot believe that you killed me. That's not fair!" Dean exclaimed, searching for something under the blankets. "Where's that knife?"

"Murder in the dorm rooms. This ought to be fun to explain to Dumbledore." Harry grimaced.

"It'll be damn well worth it to!" Dean swore, "You murder both Ron and I in cold blood!"

"What about Seamus?"

"That was Ron, wasn't it?" Harry questioned.

"Nah. Remember? He was still trying to figure a way to keep Ne-"

"Neville." The two looked at the boy.

"Time to cash in?" Neville asked hopefully, holding a stack of cards.

…

"Not Russia!" Harry cried out, practically flinging his rolls.

"It's all mine, Harry." Neville smirked. "My six beats your five."

"No! Damn you!" Harry howled.

"Siberia now?" Neville offered, already shaking the dice.

"Oh, go to hell."

…

"That was fun." Neville smiled, studying the pink laden bored.

"He won." Ron grimaced.

"How the hell did he beat me?" Harry whined, looking at the twenty men holding Russia hostage.

"Easily." Neville smirked. If only they knew half the cards that he handed in had been originally nicked from the main pile when they hadn't been looking.

"How?" And that the number of pink men on the board had been far more than the original number had been supposed to be.

"Magic."

…

"He cheated."

"He had to have cheated."

"Nah. Neville wouldn't have it in him to cheat."

"Neville won?"

…

**We all know that the quiet ones win, right? Well, if not… Neville did. Why? Because I forgot about him until the end. Anyways. I was looking back over the first chapter and was all like… so many mentions of the guys… no displays from the guys. So… no stripping, sadly. But plenty of misery induced amusement. **

**Enjoy. **


End file.
